TATOOINE
Location: Outer Rim Territories, furthest from the bright centre of the universe.
Number of suns: 2, bring shades. Don't look directly at the suns.
Population: 200,000 sweaty souls.
Largest spaceport: Mos Eisely. Do not confuse with the Mos Eisley brothers.
Number of moons: 3
Surface water: 1%, usually in toilets.
Major events: Rain.
Known for: Spawning evil, Dune Sea buggies, pod racing, sand kessels, attracting scum and villainy and importing Kamino mineral water.

Considering that Luke Skywalker believes nothing ever happens on Tatooine, you'd be surprised to learn that people keep returning to this sandy world as if attached by elastic. A planet toasted daily by its two suns, Tatooine is mostly populated by moisture farmers, Jawas and Sand people; the Jawas being scavengers out for a bargain, and the Sand people (or Tusken Raiders) just out for a good time.

Ruled for the most part of recent history by the Hutt family, (Jabba, Pizza) Tatooine was pretty much ignored by the Galactic Republic. However, it was here that Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi brought Queen Amidala after they fled Naboo and the Trade Federation blockade. They found on this planet young Anakin Skywalker (whoah, look at the size of those Midi-clorians...), later to become Darth Vader; so I guess it's all Qui-Gon's fault and Tatooine goes down in history as the 'planet that messed up my life', next on Jawa Springer.

With its hot days and lack of water, the people of Tatooine turned to other means for entertainment. Pod racing is a mostly lethal form of charioteering, where pilots have to have the skill to control vehicles travelling at ludicrous speed. Humans are not particularly good at this, so they stick to Dune Sea buggy racing and the annual Sand Kessel competitions, where vast structures are built in three days and then destroyed by rampaging Sand people. Last year's winner was a man named Wuher, with his representation of the Super Star Destroyer Executor.

If you plan on visiting Tatooine, the 'not-so-boring-part of the universe' - thanks Luke - it's best visited off-season when the temperatures are one degree cooler. Notable animals are Womp rats (good for target practice), Krayt dragons (plain scary) and Bantha (fodder intensive). Just remember the factor 3000.


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